Saturday, September 19

I Got Paid To Yell At Celebrities, The Sky

Listen, it's not every day that my job allows me to make fun of how everyone attends this awards show like they got lost on the way to a combination wedding-funeral. Claire Danes, I'M COMING FOR YOU. Jessica Lange, I'M COMING FOR YOU. Taraji P. Henson, well, you can do no wrong, but ALL OF TARAJI'S COLLEAGUES, I'M COMING FOR YOU.

I'd say even more, but I don't want to spoil it. This piece is quite possibly my favorite thing I've ever wrote*, so read it now, or just listen for my call tomorrow night. If you hear your neighbor's dogs barking, it's because another celebrity rolled in wearing an infuriatingly boring navy gown like she was attending my 2000 Bat Mitzvah ceremonies and her mom picked it out specifically so it wouldn't get ruined if she played Coke-Pepsi in it.

Check out my favorite diatribe of late over on Racked.

*OK, maybe only because I got a wild Winona Ryder burn in, but still.

Thursday, September 17

I Did A Month of SLT Classes (And Lived To Tell Of It)

I went to SLT and immediately started crying. Then, I went back a zillion times and wrote about it in this month's exercise column for Racked.

This month? This month was hard. I have never been challenged to this extent, isolated tiny muscles this much, or pancaked out in defeat as often. It was absolutely insanity, but the story details all of that. Check it out, and pray for my tiny abs to pop thru!


I swear I'm not boy-who-cried-wolfing it, you guys. I've been working so diligently on getting this new sucker up, and it's *almost there*. The header is done, the layout is done, the nonsense is done -- but I still need to work on a lot of the fun post parts that I want to relaunch with.

It's taking a bit of time, and is the reason why I don't go out on Friday nights (suck on that, weekends!) but I'm just working on the final chunks and it should be up, hopefully, talons crossed, within a month.

So, start saying goodbye to this shithole in your heart, and get ready for the fanciest, nicest, cleanest, most updated-iest version of Awkward City you've ever seen.

It'll be the same URL, so no need to panic. Just prepare your heart muscles for when you load this puppy up one day in the future and it's shinier than you've ever imagined.


Tuesday, September 8

Balls To The Walls

Been Disney-ing all weekend and have nothing to show for the past few days but an ice cream bar-shaped air freshener and some souvenir glasses from a themed tiki bar inside the Polynesian, *but* I was, oddly enough, featured in this W Magazine article about the Pearlfisher ball pit in SoHo.

Yeah, it's not *work*, but it's better than posting photos of me losing my mind while meeting the Japanese sensation that is Duffy the Disney Bear.

Oh, sorry, I guess I just did that too.

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