*The following post was provided by Adam&Eve. Yeah! The website. Cool, right? Enjoy!:*
No matter how old you get, maturity doesn't make talking about sex any less awkward. So if you're suddenly intrigued by the idea of introducing a sex toy into the picture, you can probably count on a bit of an uncomfortable conversation or two about it. It's likely that you'll have to assure your partner that bringing toys into the bedroom doesn't mean that your sex life is bad; it doesn't mean that you're unsatisfied and feeling unfulfilled; and it doesn't mean that you're bored of him or her. However, there are a few extra steps you should take to make sure that your partner is just as comfortable (and hopefully excited) about the idea as you are, especially if he or she happens to be a bit of prude.
Set Ground Rules.
You know how important communication is in relationships? Well, it's about a thousand times more crucial when you're considering bringing foreign objects between the sheets. People are vulnerable and exposed during sex. Would you really want to hear unfamiliar noises, have something slipped where it hasn't been before, or feel a surprised "shaky" sensation on certain parts of your body without knowing why? Probably not.
Make sure that you've decided on what is appropriate to bring into the bedroom and that you've both OK'd its use ahead of time. When one person is uncomfortable, you both need to agree to stop. Never push someone beyond his or her set boundaries. If you're dating someone with a type-A personality, your partner will appreciate knowing that he or she has equal say and control over the matter.
Do Your Research.
Talking finances and evaluating produce reviews may not be the sexiest thing to associate with sex toys, but the reality is that most of us are on a budget. And a lot of the time, if your partner is conservative in the bedroom, the same probably goes for the credit card. With that in mind, it's important to get the right product the first time.
Not all of us can afford to be as flamboyant with our toys as David and Victoria Beckham. According to The Richest, they're the proud owners of the world's most expensive sex toy. It's a platinum vibrator with 10K diamond encrusted base, that hangs from a 16K diamond necklace to the tune of $1.8 million. That's right, the diamond that Victoria Beckham sticks up her whoo-ha is likely more than you can ever expect to see on your ring finger.
Maybe you're not looking for bling, but if you're inexperienced in the market, you could still end up over-paying. That oh-so-sexy dollar amount is especially important if you have a particularly frugal partner. You certainly don't want to sour him or her on the idea or have an excuse to nix it right away just because of the toy's price tag. For those of us who haven't starred in a hit girl group and aren't famous athletes, a more practical toy (i.e. one that isn't covered in precious gems) is a much better option. You can use coupons from Adam&Eve to save a little money on your first product while reading through user reviewers to find the product that best suits your needs. And if it inspires you both to try something different, you won't have to feel guilty buying something extra with the money you saved.
Take It Slow.
Always start with smaller models of toys designed for beginners and work your way up to larger ones as you both get more comfortable. Awkwardly fumbling with the toy during your first go-around could make an already-apprehensive person even more anxious. Get familiar with using it (and the idea of using it) by starting with something small and discreet like a finger vibrator, fittingly named for being about the size of the tip of your finger.
It won't inhibit your movements or get in the way during your favorite positions, which is great. Also, even adding this tiny device can make a big difference to your satisfaction. You can choose to control it yourself or have you partner control it. Then, when you're ready, you can move up to larger, more advanced items.
If you're still looking for a way to combat the awkwardness, do some light reading together. Cracked compiled a list of 18 of the world's most disturbing sex toys that includes everything from the Sadist Cock Ring, a tiny iron maiden design with spikes on the inside that clips onto his schlong, to the Drilldo. That last one is exactly what it sounds like.
Anything on that list is sure to make an itty-bitty finger vibrator look pretty tame. Plus it's a great way to get a laugh out of the ordeal and ease the tension. And when you find that you're both finally ready to bring a toy into the boudoir, you can open yourselves up to a whole new world of adventure, intimacy, and sexual satisfaction. Happy shopping!