Carol's Cookies, the unbelievable Chicago-based dessert delicacy that come in lump-like form and actually have made me sick before from an inability to stop eating their sugary goodness, are now available at the GROCERY STORE. Like, downstairs from my apartment. Like, within a legitimate danger zone of my mouth and everything I could eat on the way towards the refrigerated dairy section.
Having spent all of my teenage years buying cookies at the 7-11 instead of cigarettes, I can pretty much credit these butter bombs to keeping me on the straight and narrow during my formative years. That, and also having friends who were more interested in having Slurpees than dropping acid.
There's something about hand-crafting my own half-pound cookie from a tub and then eating it alone that seems much more depressing than a friendly suburban lady doing it and shipping it across the country to me, but if I keep up these daily $20 trips to Gourmet Garage for pastry twists and organic lollipops, it's not long before i'm on my couch digging into "Old Fashioned Sugar Cookie Dough" with a spoon and crying sugary tears of joy for their newfound accessibility.