Sunday, March 25

On Texas Time

It's been over a week since I've been running around pale-legged throughout Texas for South By Southwest, and I'm nostalgic and exhausted just thinking about it. Seriously, I lost my voice all over again last night. Though most people who know me have a cartoon bubble of "!?!?" above their heads right now from the bottom photo, I'll get right into it instead of bemoaning how sleepy I somehow still am. Here's the extensive highlight reel...or, from the length of this post, the E! True Hollywood Story version.

Speaking of the telly, if you want to take a peek at what I was doing while I was down there, peep in on some interviews and shows and things if you've got the time.

1. Arriving in style. Or, unpacking in a stranger's empty apartment by dumping everything in a messy pile.

2. A scenic view on my way back from walking into uncharted territory to get a gel manicure all by myself while hearing the voice of my Grandmother in the back of my head wondering "Did you bring your own nippers?! You don't want to get a disease like Paula Abdul did!" Also, my Grandma called cuticle removers "nippers". Should have mentioned that earlier.

3. Feeling terribly self-conscious for wavin' these pasty gams all over town, but hey, a girl's gotta do what a jort-wearing, workin' gal's gotta do.

4. Free drinks, free photo booth. Pretty simple how those two go hand in hand.

5. Back of Lance Armstrong's bike shop for my boyfriend's newest signing, Of Monsters And Men, whose first show in America was packed from wall to wall. Quickly learned that having a coffee shop inside an Austin performance venue is a golden godsend, and exclaiming "We like bikes!" is perfect Icelandic coming-to-America introductory banter.

6. The only thing that'll make you feel like more of a fatass-in-training than a sweaty shirtless man schlepping three of you across town on a pedicab is having him do it while you eat five (FIVE) bags of chips. So happy to be setting new lows all over Texas.

7. Three Doritos Locos Tacos, two bean burritos, and one terrible, terrible stomachache.

8. The worst interview of my life.

9. Our first VEVO/NikeFuel show with Neon Trees, whose lead singer looks better in pants than I do.

10. Chiddy Bang. New obsession.

11. Girl Talk with an open bar. Basically, what a Bar Mitzvah without parents or a legal drinking age would have been like.

12. Walk The Moon. Do they have action figures yet? That needs to happen.

13. This way to the dressing rooms.

14. What a week filled with production looks like from the other end.

15. A$AP Rocky and the entire A$AP Mob. When a rapper rolls in for an interview with eight other people and says, "We interview together, we stay together, we're a collective" when you're only prepared to talk with an individual, it's pretty much a shit-your-pants moment for a journalist. Especially if said journalist's favorite band sings songs that are basically just jammy noise and mouth noises that sound like words and super especially if said journalist is ME, SHITTING MY PANTS. Pale legs? Childhood Zac Hanson obsession? Little-to-know hip-hop knowledge? Panic attack. Funny thing is, between Rocky's unbelievable presence and artistry and the junior high classroom hilarity that was all of them in a tiny tent, it ended up being quite possibly my favorite interview of all time. So well, in fact, that my new friend on the lower left now rocks one of these bad boys. Highlight of the festival, by far.

16. Sleigh Bells at ACL. That bitch knows how to own a stage, I'll tell ya.

17. Building my library two stolen books at a time.

18. Nas performing Illmatic, which was really quite insane.

19. Did I mention I pretty much Instagram for a living?

20. The most amazing moment of my entire life ever forever. Yes, that's who you think it is, yes, I am having an aneurism inside my head at that very moment, and yes, we talked about sea urchin and sweating out meat odors at the gym. What else would you talk about with your life idol??!

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