Monday, April 30

Things I Am Influential About On Klout

1. Music
2. Champagne
3. Phish
4. Lady Gaga
5. Juice
7. Anthony Bourdain
8. College
9. Prince
10. Politics
11. Sony
12. New Jersey
13. Glee
14. Mixtape
15. Marriage
16. Family
17. Video
18. Airports
19. Quinoa
20. Photography

Hold the fucking phone.

I know way more about quinoa than any of this shit.

How my knowledge of weddings, Bruce Springsteen's hometown and the Sony Death Star apparently out-influences my sheer skill at stuffing my face full of mounds of healthy food like a fitness-savvy binger, I'll never understand. If anyone wants to grab a glass of fizzy wine, watch a two-hour set from a jam band and suck down some TreeTop juice boxes, apparently I'm your girl. Bring your own grain salad to our pre-party, though, since apparently I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THAT.

Excuse me, while I make a pot of millet and move on from the grains that have turned their backs on me.

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