I was once told that if you really, truly want something, you need to wholeheartedly believe it. Unfortunately, the truthteller of that oracle happens to be the dusty copy of The Secret hidden on my junkpile of a desk, of which I made it through the first 25 pages and moved onto something more entertaining. Freaky, existentially-based thinky mumbo jumbo? Not my bag. But, the principle of it is captivating, so I'm going to float this one out into the world and hope for the best, like a public aspiration mixed with a modern day town crier:
I, Carlye Wisel, want to be best friends with Alan Arkin.
After seeing Argo on Sunday I found myself daydreaming not about running my hand through Ben Affleck's oddly coarse hair, but waltzin' along through a dusty parking lot to grab sammiches and deli sodas with Alan's old Hollywood director character. This homeslice wanders around town like a hot shot in a velour jumpsuit, makes business deals without screaming, and now that I've thought about it for hours on end, could be a better friend than anyone I've ever met.
There's something about the way gentlemen of a grandfatherly age talk to one another, like a temporary transport back to when conversations were wittier, when shooting the shit with friends had an elevated level of hilarity and integrity. They call waitresses sweetheart, they always have a butterscotch in their pocket, and spouting life lessons at a diner is just another regular Tuesday afternoon. Their pace is slower; their interactions are more substancial than Gchatting friends YouTube links of Tom Hanks doing Full House slam poetry before being stimulated by some other moving mess of words and images seconds later. Maybe I was born at the wrong time, or maybe I just need to start eating more whitefish platters, but either way: I know deep down this raisin with a golden personality is my kindrid spirit. And maybe if I keep thinking it, believing it, and making inspiration boards of it — isn't that a chapter in that book? — it can happen.
(And, in spirit of being a true friend, I'll remind you that you most definitely want to click that Tom Hanks link if you haven't already. It doesn't top a nosh of bialys and Dr. Brown's diet cream sodas, but it'll do.)