Monday, November 19

Your Future Dream Boyfriend: Ben Whishaw

I love Bond movies, because their flaws are what make them perfect. You get the insane action scenes and the huge, big-budget shots like all other intense manly flicks, but without the fear that a character you love is going to die, because they can't. They can't die! So, essentially, I booked tickets for Skyfall weeks in advance because they're action movies for pussies. And as a card-carrying member of that genre, It makes me blue as a Violet Beauregarde-sized blueberry to admit that Daniel Craig, my favorite part of the series, is cascading into the "was hot, now old" category. Homedawg is 44, and the days of having a thing for a guy who looks like a large baby with serious muscle definition are big-time numbered, even if his eyes are the color of those frosty bursts in IceBreakers commercials.

Thankfully, there was a cute lil' braniac gem in this one — Ben Whishaw, who balanced out all of 007's old age and pre-wrinkles and need for a trip to the men's section of Kiehls with the body type of a doodle of a lanky hipster brought to life. He plays Q, the master of gizmos and gadgets and computer codes that's typically played by another old man in earlier Bond series. This casting decision to go for a cardigan-wearing nerdface instead of a hairy, heavyset gentleman, though, is like my own personal One Direction airport arrival, just quieter.

He's famous in the UK, which of course means nothing to us, especially 'cuz he looks like he could star in your sixth period algebra class instead of a massive motion picture with a cult-like following. Granted, Skyfall was slim on the romance and sorta kinda on the plot as well, but a dude whose closet you could seamlessly borrow with enough computer skills to rid you of trips to the Genius Bar for life makes him a pretty stellar mate. Tops, even. In terms of that mental list of dreamy pretend boyfriends, too? You may want to tack his name on there sooner than later.

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