Thursday, January 31


Whether you've been popping by Awkward City to get your fill of Horvath GIFs or simply are interested in my long-winded reviews of the most important show of our generation, if you've here, you probably have some strong feelings about Girls. And today? Those strong feelings are about to pay off.

Grab your Cool Whip and a spoon, ladies n' gents, because things are about to get incredible: I'm giving away four Girls gift packs full of unbelievable goodies that are totally legit, regardless of if you spend your mornings looking at the ground of the G train or not.

Things you'll get, if you're a winner winner enchilada dinner:

- Headphones, for drowning out your loud neighbor's sexual deviances with that Youth Lagoon song that never gets old
- Four sets of character-themed nail strips, for when you need to look like a lady in a snap (No surprise here, Jessa's is the best)
- McClure's Bloody Mary Mix, because this shit is expensive and c'mon, you'd never really buy it for yourself
- Season 1 Girls DVD, for when you get the novovirus and need something to watch besides Cadet Kelly
- HBO water bottle, so everyone else at pilates will stop judging you for having such weak lower abs in case you might be someone important
- Neck pillow. You'll never use this.
- A Girls snuggie, because while Hannah's cool with her neighbors seeing her naked on the couch, you're probably not.
- Girls Baggu bag, because carrying home kale from the Farmer's Market in plastic bags is no less ironic than you toting this.

(Surprisingly, there's no morning-after pill or marriage annulment guide included, but hey, that's what petty cash is for.)

All you have to do to enter to win this glorious lot of goodies is the following:

1. Leave a comment on this post mentioning something insanely awkward you've done or experienced. (Include your Name and Twitter handle so I can contact you if you win!)
2. Tweet about the contest with a link to — and tag @GirlsHBO.

Do both and get one entry for each!

(That's sO MANY NAIL STRIPS, yOu GuYs). Really, this one's way easier than writing a story for JazzHate or trying to dump Charlie. Good luck to one, good luck to all!

Official shit: Contest ends tonight (1/31) at 11:59pm ET.; U.S. Residents only, must be 18 or older to enter. Winners will be announced tomorrow and picked at random. Zillions will enter, four will win.


Lisa Bartasius said...

Senior year of college i brought a guy home. The next morning i had to leave very early because i was going out of town. I left him there, didn't know his name, asked him to not steal my stuff, etc..then i left and was on my way, and realized i left my debit card in my bedroom. I had to go back, wake him up (it was like 7 AM) and have him help me find my debit card. I still don't remember his name..

Reebs said...

In high school some of my friends and I would drive around trying to find where one specific guy was hanging out that night. The best/worst part, we found him wayyyy more than we should have.

For more great embarrassing info find me at @justlikereba

Joanna said...

One time I tried to start up a conversation with a coworker I had a crush on with "My umbrella smells weird..."

@robotics obvi

leahduce said...

Memorial Day weekend 2011. I had only been in the city for a few months... so on Friday, I went on a blind date with some dude. He ended up taking me to PDT where we had too many cocktails, followed by his friend's party where everyone (every. one.) was doing coke. I politely declined, but after a few PBR's, I don't remember the rest of the events of the evening.
Saturday morning, I had one of the top 3 worst hangovers of my life. I proceeded to puke all day until about 5PM, when while at dinner with a colleague before a show for work, I puked so hard in the bathroom at the restaurant that a blood vessel in my eyeball burst. (Sidenote: it took an entire month to not be blood red... not 2 weeks like the interwebz will tell you!)
Sunday, I woke up and went to Montauk with a different dude then the aforementioned blind date dude. We illegally camped on the beach - it was awesome.
Monday, we went swimming in the ocean. I accidentally got sucked into the undertow and my kneecap temporarily dislocated itself. He had to drag me out of the ocean and lay me on shore where I proceeded to get a terrible sunburn. We left shortly after and when I came into work on Tuesday with a busted eyeball, limp and wicked sunburn, my boss appropriately asked "What the FUCK happened to you this weekend?"

For this and other crazy NYC tales, follow meh! @zomg_its_leah

jewels said...

on the way to meet a newly signed artist client for the first time, i was feeling very ill - but blamed it on nerves. once i pull up to his studio, i realized this was no case of the anxiety tingles. i walked into the studio, and then shortly after introducing myself, vomited all over his bathroom. he will never forget me now! @iggywillinger

Gillman said...

Remember that time a guy peed inside me?

JB said...

I was at a concert and thought it would be cool to crowd surf & cross it off my 'bucket list'. I was surfing among the crowd and feeling totally B-A until there was a gap in the crowd and I fell on top of a guy and BROKE HIS COLLAR BONE! To make matters worse, he was absolutely gorgeous. To say that was my last time crowd-surfing would be an understatement.

Rebecca said...

The following happened on a visit to Poland in 2004. My comrades and I took a trip to Auschwitz, to check out the famed nightlife and Senor Frog's-esque debauchery. Just kidding, we went there to bear witness to the atrocities done unto our people, etc. etc. Anyway, I was wearing those drawstring pants that Old Navy used to sell, in which the drawstring was the only means of the pants' defiance of gravity---no elastic, no nuthin'.(No excuses, but if you'll remember from the beginning of the story, this all went down in 2004).
We enter the camp, and start walking. My friend Zach is walking behind me, and he's doing this thing where he's balancing on the small ledge of the slightly raised pathway upon which we're walking, tightrope style. Why he was doing this under these circumstances is beyond me, but I remember a few of us telling him to not do that. The next thing I know, Zach trips on the ledge and falls, and in a desperate attempt to gain his balance, grabs my dumb drawstring-only pants on his way down. A full de-pantsing, total under-clothing showing situation. In Auschwitz.

Claire said...

Freshman year of high school my friend and I were obsessed with a certain guy who shared a certain first name with an American president (hint: Daniel Day Lewis stars in a movie about said president right now). Our obsession grew so strong that we made iron on T-shirts with his picture on them that said "...for a good time" and wore them to school. He never saw them, but our moms found out about it and took us to a reprimanding lunch during which they told us we were never allowed to contact him again. Thanks, moms.

Michell Eloy said...

CC'd my entire writing staff on an email to my replacement detailing what I really thought of their writing abilities.

Nancy P said...

My daughter ate a dried starfish at a playgroup today. Awkward mom moment.

Hannah Niebaum said...

Going through an extended long period of the growing up phase, I entered college still boyfriendless and clueless. Trying to speed up this process, I started wearing new wedge heels and wearing mascara (GASP!). One rainy day after class, I was walking back to the dorms when I spy the cutest, tallest, God's gift to mankind college male, walking in my direction. I pumped myself up, saying "YOU GOT THIS MAMA, SHOW HIM WHATCHA MADE OF!" So when he was close enough, I dramatically flipped my hair over my shoulder. After my awesomely tragic hair flip, I proceeded to step in a puddle. However, this puddle was one of those highly deceptive puddles that ends up being five feet deep. I splashed water all over myself and then to make matters worse, I tripped after doing so, losing my balance but somehow managing to stay afloat. In my opinion, this made everything worse than if I had fallen since I looked like a complete fool stumbling around trying to gain some footing. Needless to say, the demi-god I encountered mean mugged the hell out of me and increased his walking speed, high tailing it out of there. I am forever shamed by hairflips and have a new strange phobia of large puddles.

Clarissa Ortiz said...

That time that a school bus scraped the front of my car while I was parked, and everyone instantly assumed it was clumsy, awkward, can't do anything right, me. Despite my car having been parked. And the bus was full of kids from my school, who of course told everyone and I was ridiculed and despite being 100% awkward everyday of my life, 3 months of awkwardly explaining to everyone, police included, that I didn't hit the bus, but they scraped the front of my car, WHILE IT WAS PARKED probably takes the cake, for how long it was dragged out. Twitter: @clarissayahaira

Caitlin Hubner said...

Oh hey. When I was home from college for a summer (back when everyone had a tv/cordless phone/multi-disc CD changer in their room) my parent's OCD cleaning lady came in while i was out of town (at the Jersey Shore) for the weekend. I came home to find that on top of my dresser my electronics were perfectly lined up (according to size). It went, stereo remote, tv remote, VIBRATOR, cordless phone. It had been there for three days.


Jade said...

I was on a date with a gorgeous navy SEAL. While talking about how much I like to swim I asked him if he knew how to swim. Sadly we did not have a second date. The awkwardness of that question will forever haunt me.

J. Bercaw said...

I was going on a date with a friend of a friend when I was on college. I was getting dressed with my date in the dorm room (I'm obviously one classy lady). I didn't bother to do laundry and I didn't have any clean underwear, so I didn't wear any. My roommates' boyfriend was in the room and noticed I put my pants on, but didn't bother to put on panties and he said,"you never wear underwear". So I then went on a 3 hour lunch date with a stranger who knew I had on no underwear.

Joy Wagner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
tylerkilledlove said...

Just recently, I was telling my sister about how how sick I had gotten and that I had woken up the previous night 5 times from the fever/sweating and I told her, "Yeah, I actually went to sleep with my all my clothes on" so she just stared at me and asked me if I regularly don't sleep with clothes on. It was so awkward since I'm not close with my sisters like that.

Monica M and @wolvesonfire

I want all of this, ah!

Joy Wagner said...

I attended an industry awards banquet with my favorite male co-worker, who also happens to be dyslexic. Prior to the show, we chatted with our bosses, who are husband and wife. The wife had been having car trouble, so my colleague asked her, "So, how's your vulva doing? They still working on it?" (She drives a Volvo). Her husband broke the silence that followed, saying, "Aren't you going to ask about my penis?" My poor friend had NO idea what was going on.

Joy Wagner said...

Contact info for previous entry:
Joy Wagner

Jenny Lester said...

Freshman year of high school a kid took me to the movies on my first date. The genius decided that we should see 'Grindhouse' which of course is over four hours of Quentin Tarantino horror realness. A traumatized 14 year old girl can only hold (sweaty) hands with an upperclassmen boy for so long and by hour 2 1/2 I had had enough. I went to the bathroom, called my dad and said he had to come get me immediately. Went back and told the kid my Dad had just received my report card (at 10:30 on a Friday night...?!?) and that I was failing nearly everything and thus was in trouble and had to go home. Said kid then walked me out to be picked up by my father who was utterly confused as to what was going on. The boy later dated a good friend of mine who filled him in on the truth. Yikes. @thejennylester

Teibs said...

I was on a hebrew school field trip and threw Matzah in my friend's little sister's face. She cried. Later that night, her mom called my house (remember land lines?) and insisted I apologize. I apologized and the girl refused to forgive me. She called me for an apology and then refused it. I didn't know what else to say.

Carlye- I'm still sorry. I hope you've forgiven me by now. That was awkward for everyone.


Kristin O'Brien said...

One time my boyfriend and I were hanging out and I farted, a silent but deadly one. He smelled it and said "Oh my god, what is that smell? That's terrible! Did one of us step in dog shit?" Then he went on to examine our shoes. After he realized that our shoes were clean he got so embarrassed and said "I'm so sorry, I must have farted. I don't remember farting, but I must have. It definitely smells like a fart in here." This story is mostly just funny and endearing, especially since it didn't cross his mind that his girlfriend could have farted. Definitely embarrassing that my fart caused such a stir.

Twitter: k0b

Whitney said...

A few years ago, I was at a bar with some friends. I saw a guy that I thought was cute and told my guy friend, hoping he could work out some sort of wingman situation for me. The guy walked by and my friend leaned over and said, "haaaaaaave you met Whitney?" Barney-Stinson-style. Just as my friend finishes speaking, the guy just goes, "no, no, no, no, no" and continues walking past us. I stopped trying to hit on dudes after that.

Oh, and another guy pretended to fall asleep mid-makeout so I've basically got it going on. @whitd

Caroline said...

I often don't wear underwear. This is awkward. Ha!

Caitlin said...

Had to get naked to go into this bathhouse in China. No towels. Only white girl there. Only one by herself. Fainted. Naked.

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