Monday, February 4

Prepare For Landing

I know we all bow at the alter of the Carter clan, but we do need to talk about this slice of wonderment that happened amidst the Destiny's Child megahang:

As eloquently shouted out by someone stuffed into the same room as I for the Beyonce drool-fest halftime show, "She got air!" And, after replaying the game footage, Michelle Williams was catapulted so high into the air that she jumped twice. Twice! Two fucking times! I'm completely baffled by how in the hell she was tossed into gravity and landed so smoothly, with enough wits about her to throw a hand on a hip like it ain't no thang. I can't even walk down a steep set of stairs in booties with two-inch heels and this bitch can do Cirque Du Soleil-level acrobatics in mega-heels while making her stage debut inside a massive arena for the first time in years.

Is there a Crunch class for this? Is this the payoff for actually doing more than ten squats? Does she have quads of steel? Look again — she even starts out crouched down, like it's a trampoline gymnastics birthday party and she's got someone to outshine. Completely blown away. You guys can take Beyonce, I'll be at the front lines of the fan club for this fantastic little perfectly postured gem.

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