A coupon code for $100 off!? Granted, that discount is equivalent to getting a nickel off at McDonalds — as in, does it really matter? — but with some clever arranging (and no minimum spend!), you can rake in some serious discounts on stuff that's over half off, or even practically free.
You can't sort by price on Moda Operandi, obviously, because no one using the site cares about dollar signs, so this one required some major sleuthing. Unfortunately, while having my detective cap on, some other stylish poors discovered these now-sold out bags that woulda been hella cheap ($0!), but you do have until next Friday to hold out and see if they replenish 'em. Don't like waiting? Atta girl! Here's what you can blow your free hundo on right away:
This Caroline Baggi Punky Bracelet may not be the Pamela Love piece of your dreams, but homies: it's free. Like, free-free, only-pay-$7-in-taxes FREE. Shoelaces and studs are typically a little too hometown art fair for my taste, but hey, beggars can't be choosers. And, it also comes in like four thousand colors, prime for bring your accessory situation up to camp counselor status. ($0, from $85)
Not so bad, right? The plastic loopyloops on Caroline Baggi's Frankie Bracelet remind me of macaroni, only of the expensive sit-down restaurant variety, dunked in plastic. With a stack of delicate gold bracelets and chunky metals, this rope goodie could balance out a serious wrist-y look. Oh, and this stringy thing also comes out to a grand total of $0 before tax. Move it or lose it! ($0, from $85)
With all of us now desensitized to neon and camouflage and, at times, both together, you're bound to buy something terribly trendy this season without even realizing it. This MSGM one's only five bucks. You can't even get outta Forever 21 with a Hello Kitty pouchette for anything less than that. Don't think too hard on it. ($5, from $105)
This Opening Ceremony Floral Bra Top is a total geometric-specked tossup. In it, you can either be the sluttiest girl at Coachella, or the most exciting girl under your sweatshirt while sprawled out on the couch watching On Demand episodes of The Mindy Project. I vote for the latter, naturally. That Morgan is a fucking gem. ($25, from $125)
From what I hear, classy, professional women are all about Equipment's silken staples. But, because I don't like my armpits to be trapped in long-sleeved shirts and my daily job description depends on how much caffeine I've ingested that morning, I don't have a fucking clue about that. I bought my first blouse last week and it's oddly reminiscent shape-wise to their Riley Tee on the left, but mine sadly didn't channel a children's reading room like that one. The color of their middle button-down offering is BLAZING YELLOW, which I think is worthy of dropping the big buckaroos for sure. Some professional adult had to brainstorm "blazing yellow" and say it out loud in a serious tone of voice, and for that, they deserve our everlasting love and petty cast. Oh, and to the right, a feminine blouse-y thing for any short girls who have figured out how to do that schoolboy-skinny jeans-oxfords layering thing. I'll never figure that out, but I will encourage it. Boom. (L to R: $90 from $190; $110 from $210; $110 from $210)
I've never been able to purchase and own an expensive white t-shirt, since it's pretty much akin to me buying silk toilet paper. But, if you're an organized, genreally together person, Yigal Azrouel's smooth tee is for you. This blog really isn't, but this t-shirt is. ($115, from $215)
A floral-stamped Jean Paul Gaultier bikini is as close to Baz Luhrman's Romeo & Juliet you'll get without accosting Leonardo DiCaprio and shoving him into a time machine dated to back when you were in fifth grade. Also — great for summer! ($130, from $230)
A calf-length, baggy, broad lobster skirt, brought to you only by the oddballs at Tibi. Because if you're going to dress like a clueless suburban vice principal anyway, you might as well shell out a little cash to make it name-brand. ($235, from $335)
Enjoy the cheapies, folks. And, since the shopping giddies got a hold of me a bit too soon, be sure to enter your coupon code under "Credits and Promotions" on your account on the upper left toolbar. Or, panic and e-mail customer service and have them set up an account for you as though you're an OG socialite who has no idea how to operate the internet machines. That works, too. Surprisingly well, in fact.