One problem, though: I'm going about it all wrong. Instead of saving up for a Phillip Lim squareish bag like every other girl my age, I'm living life like a sixth grader who stumbled upon the babysitting jackpot and went crazy with it. Granted, my Chase status is a tender sight, but my recent frivolousness has left me as happy as a Lady Gaga fan in an empty Wet Seal. Just kidding. Kind of. Anywhere, here are the best of the wallet whoopsies — or at least the ones I paused for long enough to photograph:
Childhood lunchroom dreams come true! Just because we're too old to feast on a Italian pizza boat served on a plastic tray each and every Thursday doesn't mean we can't still dream of carb-o-loading all hours of the day. Though it was extremely poor planning to wear this on the same day I chowed down at Roberta's, I like to wear my cheese-obsessed heart on my sleeve, chest and collectively across my body. This shirt has not been without its negatives, though — my boyfriend essentially told me to go back in my room and change when I showed up all smiles with it tucked under a pair of denim overalls like a kid-turned-adult in a Disney movie — but no problem. I'll just save that get-up for when he's out of town. Ok, for every single day he's out of town. You can take the kid out of the lady but you can't well wait this is turning into a birthing metaphor I'm just gonna stick with liking cheese breads okay time to stop. Find it at O-Mighty, or at the ever-amazing-fantasmic Shop Jeen.
Straight up, this is a waste of money. Given that I'm neither a golfer nor prepping for standardized testing, I don't even use pencils, but these were filled with too much happiness to not immediately blow a few bucks on. I'm not going to lie — I've tried multiple times to replicate Zenon's microchip earring to no avail with leftover computer parts in my parents' basement, but a holographic Zetus Lupetus pencil to remind me of the simple pleasures of childhood every time I look towards the corner of my desk? Priceless. Or $7 with shipping from Etsy. Also: priceless.
Necessary to bring a special googly-eyed friend with me wherever I go?
Am I going to do it anyway?
AAAAAAAND, yup. I lost my mind and went crazy at a Pamela Love sample sale, but regret absolutely nothing from it. Consider this treasure chest of goodies my pieces de oops-tance. What did I nab? A locket with a teensy tiny diamond and a forever moody phase, triangle pieces to go along with a matching blue bracelet, a sputnik ring that could aid in kicking anyone's ass while underground, and a badass tribal cuff that's heavy enough to provide unintentional bicep toning. I've worn one item daily since then, so by cost-per-wear standards, I'm straight killin' it. And, uh, terribly irresponsible at keeping cash in my pocket. But hey, at least my fingers will look jacked while paying for coffee with nickels.